Tuesday, October 10, 2006

Absence and Orgasms

Where have I been ? Weeeeeell he said fiddling with his fingers I’ve been busy and neglectful. Occasionally work requires some long hours and just recently I have been giving time to others largely for their benefit. I have also managed to keep SWMBO happy which is good, but my infrequent rants have suffered. That said, this blog on Orgasms really did remind me of how valuable blogging can be.

The blog was an insightful hoot but I do think one or two points should be made.

1) So you really think men don’t notice faking ? I don’t dispute that older women may have got the better of me on this one, but younger ones are shocking….in fact so shocking they are boring. I may not be Don Juan or Casanova but I do think the two worst insults to my attempts at communicative sex are a) Epileptic routine – shaking like they belong in the bath with the washing only marginally better than……b) Dead fish routine – lay there and smile when he’s done.

2) Another cause of faking would be impatience – Yes some women are just too busy to wait…..I know I was bad but should she really look at her watch ? Another facet is the “me being used as a warm dildo”, I’m still not sure if that is a complement or an insult.

3) How did I figure it out a little of the orgasm thing ? I watched and got other women to show me….is that breaking the rules ? I am now a capable linguist at least.

4) In case you have never tried it, this I recommend - porn movies look hilarious played backwards at high speed. (Or maybe I was drunk at the time).

5) Yes the biggest source of sex education is the porn movie and porn mag. What I don’t understand is how blokes can figure that the penises are unreal but the sex isn’t…..can anyone help me out here ?

6) Not all Lesbians think like Jagose….

Yep I guess Kate’s right; its all about communication, that’s talking isn’t it ?….funny we can spend so much time talking about sex and failing to communicate. The talking is easy the truths are hard……mmmm there goes another platitude……..time for bed…

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